Untitled #7

I don’t know what to right. Sometimes when I’m writing in my journal, that’s the first thing I write. I feel the same about this blog post. So much has happened in my life and the world around me and I want to write it all, but right now, I simply come with nothing. But I always want to come with something. I want to be accepted and seen for who I am, so I try to hard and fall every time. Do you ever feel like that? Like you have to try to make yourself look important, like you have to know everything? Eh, sometimes I feel like that writing these blogs, so today, I am just writing about nothing!

So I would like to come to this blog by telling you all of the experiences I have seen, but I don’t have much to say. I could write to you all about how in the past month I have turned 23 years old! How wonderful it was to spend it in Uganda, but how sad it was to be away from my friends and family. I could tell you how much I miss my home and how I long to see it again. I could share how I celebrated Christmas and how fun it was to be in Uganda with my squad. I would love to talk about how I missed being home for it and all the traditions we cherish. And celebrating New Year’s in Nepal! How fun it has been to be in Nepal with loved ones and creating so many cherished memories. I would love to share of the miracles I’ve seen and what my life looks like now. I want to share what I’ve learned and how I am growing. But that’s not me right now and I don’t want to.

The best way to tell you how my life looks like now, is to be as authentic as possible. So right now, I am sitting at a cafe in Nepal and have now idea what to write about, and that’s okay. As much as I want to talk about, sometimes I just need to be content and be present. We don’t have to try so hard to be enough for this world. You don’t have to come with everything figured out even when that’s the only thing you want to do. Our identity isn’t set in how people perceive us and it certainly isn’t in our own control. Our identity is in Christ Jesus and Him in us.

I could try and try and try, but it will never be enough. I am not strong enough. But He is! I want to be seen and I want to be enough so I used to put my identity in how people see me and in my own control, but I fall every time that I try. Sometimes I just need to let go and be content.

I want to come and show that I am enough and tell of all my great stories and adventures, but I will simply come with nothing. And the beautiful thing about all of this, is that is all that Christ wants from you. He doesn’t require anything else from you and He doesn’t want it. He just wants you because He loves you.

So that’s what I’ve got for you! My untitled, not put together, beautiful, cherished, and loved blog post. God loves you just as you are. So let go of all your expectations and desires, because God doesn’t want any of them. You know that all He wants is you.