Hello to my Home. I’ll be there soon and I am so excited to see my home. It has been good to hear from you after all this time. I still pray for you very often and I pray for our reunion very often. It’s funny to think about how long it has been since I have been home and how much has changed. I think about how I’ve changed and how everything else has changed around me. But I often think about leaving this life I have lived and loved and how much I will surely miss the moments I have right now. But soon, you will see me and I will be reunited with you again. I am thankful that we will have time to share in all of these emotions and celebrate the memories. I will be there soon, my home.
I think about my return home quite often and there are so many deep emotions that come with it. I almost titled this blog as, “The days before the rest of my life”, as an ode to one of my first blogs about my old life closing before this life began. Now I reflect on my life here and what life will look like coming home.
The emotions that come are deep. I am filled with a loss that I can’t explain. Here I am in a beautiful community that has had a year of intentional pursuit for one another and it has been filled with it’s own challenges and of course, love. This has been filled with people who have become the brothers and sisters I never had a chance of having. This time has seen many beautiful testimonies of my life and many others. These are stories that will be told for the rest of my life and when I come home. I am at a loss by losing these moments of my life, but I am equally grateful for them. This experience has been a true gift from God. The best thing I have ever experienced. God has transformed my life and I will never be the same again. I am made brand new and how I return will not be the same as when I left. I am so proud of myself that a year ago, I decided to leave for this trip and meet God face to face and to become filled with His Holy Spirit. And so of course I feel at a loss losing this community, this experience, and just overall all of these moments. But it’s memory will always live in my heart and I will forever be thankful for this gift from God!
I wish there were more words to describe what my days are like and what my emotions are like. But I am so thankful I get to come home to share with you my memories and my stories. I can share my emotions with more than just words, but soon with pictures, memories, smiles, laughs and tears. These are the moments I am so excited for and what I cannot wait to share.
So what will it be like to come home? I have spent many nights wondering, but I don’t want to keep myself up with those thoughts anymore. I know God has things planned, and I have nothing to fear or worry about. God will do some amazing things I know that! He has given me a vision and new mission for when I come home. So I will not sit here and worry myself about the “How?”.The only thing that matters is my Intimacy with God.
The life we live is only just about intimacy. That’s what we were made for. This is what I was made for, to find intimacy with the Father within the Secret Place. By the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. That is what my life amounts to. Not the ministry I am doing or the people I am meeting. Not even going home and pursuing community there. It’s all about my Intimacy with God. My worship unto Him and my finding Him in my everything. There is nothing to fear. Why fear? Why be filled with anxiety when there is a beautiful, Holy love that can fill me in my every moment. That’s what I want to pursue when I come home. That’s what I’m hungry for. Nothing else, but God. So even now and when I come home and even until the end of my days, the only thing that I want on my mind, is the Intimacy of God.
This is what I have been thinking about for a while. I also wanted to say it as an engagement to you that might be struggling with the same things. I know it’s not just me going through trials of many kinds. I right this way to encourage you all reading because I know what it’s like. And I also know what it’s like to live in intimacy with our Creator and it is better than anything I have ever experienced. So because I am coming home soon, I wanted to share this encouragement with you all and let you know that I am excited to share much more when I return. The Lord has so much love to give, and I am excited to share it with you soon!
So coming Home. I don’t know what else to say. I still pray for my coming home and for the stories we will get to share. For the love of God we will get to experience. I pray for your hearts and for mine. It’s hard to not think about what it will be like, so I will surrender my expectations and my hopes to God. I will rely on His love in this moment and in the moments to come.
Thank you to my Home. Thank you to all those that read this blog. I hope to continue to write to you, but for now I say thank you. Thank you for your support and your prayers. Your prayers do work and your love is felt from thousands of miles away. I love you and I will see you soon.
My final writing goes to my parents. For their love they have given me and their support during this time. The love you have shown me over my life has been like that of the Father’s love and I have always cherished it and I am excited to come home to you soon. I love you.
I love you, my home.
Sincerely,
Jackson
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